Wedding Save the Date Etiquette

Published: 10th January 2012
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Sending save the dates to your invitees is actually a relatively new and growing trend. You will find a number of advantages to mailing out save the dates, the first being that a lot more of your guests are likely going to be able to be there for your wedding. Advising your friends and relatives about your wedding day six to twelve months ahead of your wedding reception date, enables them to make travel arrangements and keep the day from becoming booked by a different event.

Listed below, you will see answers to 7 of the most popular questions regarding wedding save the date etiquette.

Do we need to send save-the-dates? You don't need to send cards, magnets or postcards, but if you would like as many of your invitees as possible to go to your wedding, then you certainly should inform them of the date as soon as you can.

Do we really need to send save-the-dates to all of our guests?
Okay, so you have chosen to send out STDs (and no, not that type). Here's your (not so gold) star: * for keeping everybody in the know. Assuming you have an extremely restricted budget, then you could choose to skip those guests that you talk to often such as brothers, sisters and close friends. However, save the date cards are not too expensive so if you can spare the additional $40, then send them to all of your guests.

When do you send save the dates?
You can send them out once you know your date and location, but 6-12 months before your day is afair time-frame.
Note: its going to likely take a minimum of two weeks to have your cards or magnets printed and delivered. As a result, aim to order them no less than thirty days before you'd like to mail them to your guests.

Who do we address the save the dates to?
You should address the save-the-dates to the individuals whom you intend on inviting to your wedding. When you intend on just inviting your cousin and her spouse and not their 8 kids, then make sure to be obvious on the save-the-date and not include the names of the children or "and family". If you have cousins that are in relationships with someone whom you don't really know (and wouldn't be invited on their own), then you should just address the save-the-date for your friend and you can add the name of the +1 to the actual invitation if they are still together.
Note: you can add invitees when you mail out your invitations however it will be difficult to remove invitees who you've sent a save the date to.

How do we address save the dates?
Save the dates ordinarily are not too formal, but if you've picked a more formal design and/or you will be throwing a very formal affair, then addressing them in a formal way is the way to go.
For your reference, formal would look something such as this: Mr. and Mrs. Michael Jones.
Informal addressing would read like this: Mike and Laura Jones.
Note: A few of your older guests may appreciate a more formal usage of their names than your friends, so you could want to address your grandparents cards different then how you address your best friends'.
What happens if we get a new wedding location or date?
This should not be a major issue as save-the-dates really should be mailed after you've booked (and likely put an initial deposit down) on a venue and date. Nevertheless, if it takes place, you can notify your guests of the change on the phone.

Does the bride to be or groom's name go first on a save the date?
Generally wedding stationary has the bride's name first, having said that they are in most cases informal which means you don't have to be too fussy about it.

And finally, if you are looking for save the date, please check out

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